7 reasons to reach out to your school counselor
As parents, we all want our kids to feel happy, confident and supported at school. But sometimes, life—both inside and outside the classroom—can get complicated. Kids and teens face academic pressures, social struggles, family changes and emotional ups and downs that can be hard to navigate alone.
That’s where the school counselor comes in.
A school counselor isn’t just someone who helps with class schedules or college applications—they’re a trusted, trained professional who helps children handle the many layers of growing up. Here are a few common reasons you might encourage your child to reach out (or connect yourself on their behalf).
1. Your child seems more anxious, stressed or withdrawn
If your child or teen is showing signs of stress—trouble sleeping, irritability, stomachaches or constant worry—it may be more than just “normal school stress.”
School counselors can help kids:
Learn calming tools to manage anxiety
Develop routines that reduce overwhelm
Build language around feelings so they can express what’s really going on
Even one or two conversations can make a big difference in helping a child feel less alone and more in control.
2. Schoolwork suddenly feels harder or overwhelming
When grades start slipping or homework turns into nightly battles, it’s easy to assume it’s about effort—but often, there’s more underneath.
A counselor can help identify whether challenges are academic, emotional or environmental. For example, maybe your child is:
Struggling with attention or executive functioning
Feeling pressure to be “perfect”
Facing difficulties with a specific teacher or peer
The counselor can then collaborate with teachers and you to create realistic support plans, and even help facilitate IEP or 504 plans when needed.
3. Friendship or social struggles are becoming a pattern
It’s heartbreaking to see your child feeling left out, dealing with conflict or being teased. School counselors can help kids navigate the social world more successfully by:
Coaching them through conflict resolution
Addressing bullying or peer pressure
Helping them identify healthy friendships and boundaries
They can also serve as a neutral third party—someone your child might open up to when they’re hesitant to talk to a parent.
4. Big life changes
Children are sensitive to change—even the changes adults may underestimate. Divorce, a move, a new sibling, a family illness or the loss of a loved one can all impact behavior and focus at school.
Counselors are skilled at helping kids process transitions in age-appropriate ways. They can offer a safe, consistent space where your child feels heard and supported as they adjust.
5. Your child seems sad, angry or not themselves
You might notice your child withdrawing from activities they used to love, showing outbursts of anger or seeming unusually tired or emotional. These are often early signs that a child is carrying emotional weight they don’t yet know how to express.
The counselor can help your child:
Explore what might be underneath their feelings
Learn ways to communicate or self-soothe
Connect to additional mental health supports if needed
It’s never “too small” to check in—sometimes that first conversation opens the door to healing.
6. Your child is preparing for a transition
Whether it’s moving from elementary to middle school, middle to high school or even switching schools, homes or just about anything else altogether, transitions bring both excitement and uncertainty.
Counselors help kids build confidence and readiness by:
Talking through worries about change
Reviewing expectations or new routines
Helping kids set small, achievable goals
Proactively connecting before a big change can help smooth the adjustment and ease everyone’s nerves.
7. You just have a gut feeling
Parents often know something’s “off” long before there’s obvious evidence. Maybe you can’t quite name it—but you sense your child could use another layer of support.
Trust that instinct. A quick conversation with the school counselor can help you determine whether what you’re seeing is typical or something that deserves a closer look.
You’ll never regret reaching out early, but waiting too long can sometimes make things harder.
What to expect when you or your child reach out
School counselors are there to partner with families—not to judge or take over. Typically, the process looks like this:
Initial conversation – You or your child share what’s been going on.
Assessment and support plan – The counselor identifies needs and potential strategies.
Ongoing check-ins – Your child might meet regularly for a few weeks or as/when needed.
Communication – Counselors usually keep parents in the loop about general progress, while respecting your child’s privacy when appropriate.
A final thought for parents
Asking for help doesn’t mean your child—or your parenting—has failed. It simply means you’re giving them one more caring adult in their corner (and an adult with training in this arena, so you’re usually in great hands!).
School counselors are an incredible resource for emotional growth, problem-solving and overall well-being. They can even be a safe space for a kid or teen with anxiety, overstimulation or other factors to step into a calming environment when needed. By encouraging your child to connect with theirs, you’re helping them learn an important lifelong skill: reaching out for support when they need it.
And that’s something worth celebrating.
AS ALWAYS, YOU CAN REACH OUT TO ME FOR HELP, QUESTIONS OR TO SET UP A TIME TO TALK.